Go ahead Try it! Get SAD instead of MAD! (continued…)

We’ve LOVED hearing such positive responses to the past couple of Hot Tips about getting SAD instead of MAD to really get what you want out of your marriage. We felt like this response from South Africa was worth sharing…
These Hot Tips have been smashing! I love it and especially like the way you coined the title. This works in every sense because I used to get really angry. Now I am completely transformed and my husband is pleasantly surprised.Instead of getting angry and accusing him of things when I’m disappointed, I get sad and express my feelings in terms of the impact his actions (or inactions) have on my feelings. I use this 4 step process:

• State what he does in a non-accusatory tone (i.e. when you pick up cell phone calls late at night and let that eat up our quality time together…)
• Describe the impact on me (i.e. it makes me feel undesirable or that others are more important than me…)
• Suggest or invite a solution (i.e. remind me how desirable I am now, and let’s figure out how can we respond to situations like this in future so we don’t send the wrong signals to each other)
• Top it off with something re-affirming and re-assuring (i.e. you know you are the world’s greatest husband and I love you so much.) In my case I tell him that I love him and like him at the same time, and every time he blushes (I just can’t see the color change in his cheeks through his chocolate skin)

Know what? It works all the time. Now I have a stronger and more vibrant marriage than ever before. I may not have mastered this technique completely yet, but I am committed to this process because positive results don’t lie.
Indeed, we get positive results when we try positive approaches to getting the love we want!

Wishing you great success in the relationship department,
Shannon

Miss Part of the Series?

Hot Tip #1
Hot Tip #2
Hot Tip #3
Hot Tip #4
Hot Tip #5
Hot Tip #6
Hot Tip #7
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Excerpted from The Sexually Confident Wife: Connecting with Your Husband Mind*Body*Heart*Spirit by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2008.  All Rights Reserved. Published by Random House Inc, New York, NY. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.