Hot Tips For Sexually Confident Wives #8

I’ll never forget when a dear friend confided in me that she was drawing the line with her husband. “Sex seems to be all about him, and not enough about me!” She went so far as to declare that there would be NO sex at all unless he made the time to bring her to climax as well. Six months later, I casually inquired as to how that mandate was working for her. She sadly confessed that they’d not had sex much at all.
While wives deserve to derive as much pleasure from the sexual relationship as their husbands, do we gain anything by keeping score in the bedroom? Does it have to be a precise one-to-one ratio of “I have to orgasm as often as you ejaculate?” Is this even logistically feasible in light of the fact that it often takes approximately 10 times longer for a woman to achieve orgasm as it does for a man? Sometimes quickies are the only way for a busy couple to make a sexual connection, and yes, men are often the better beneficiaries of such an experience, but does that mean the wife loses? No, it means she’s a winner! It means she’s a sexually generous wife who doesn’t keep count, and what better way to inspire her husband to invest plenty of energy into her orgasm when time allows?

If you’d like to focus on becoming more sexually generous, I highly recommend Lori Byerly’s book, The Generous Wife, along with her husband Paul’s book, The Generous Husband. Also, check out their website at You’ll find some great stuff there!

Wishing you generosity in the bedroom, Shannon

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Excerpted from The Sexually Confident Wife: Connecting with Your Husband Mind*Body*Heart*Spirit by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2008.  All Rights Reserved. Published by Random House Inc, New York, NY. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.