(Warning: This Hot Tip is NOT for the faint-at-heart or the easy-to-be-made-queasy! If that’s YOU, hit the delete button NOW!)
I was driving around Los Angeles and listening to a sex therapy radio talk show. A woman called in complaining that her husband rarely performs oral sex, yet frequently desires her to perform it for him. She couldn’t understand how things had gotten so one-sided in their marriage bed, and she was demanding change (and prepared to hold out on him until that change took place).
The therapist asked her in response, “Could there be a feminine hygiene issue?”
The caller was dead silent. Finally she asked, “What do you mean?”
The therapist responded, “Do you cleanse your vaginal area properly before expecting your husband to perform oral sex?”
Again, dead silence. She eventually replied, “Well, I take a shower, if that’s what you mean.”
“No, I’m not talking about just a shower. Do you spread the lips of your vagina and use some sort of body wash to get rid of the odor and bacteria naturally present there?” the therapist inquired, leaving no room for misinterpretation.
The caller replied, “I was never told that was necessary, and I heard Dr. Oz say that the vagina is a ‘self-cleaning oven’ on the Oprah Show.”
I thought, Hello?!?!? This woman is expecting her husband to indulge in such an intimate sexual act with his mouth (and nose) when she hasn’t properly cleaned herself?
In all honesty, I wanted to find this gal’s mama, spank her, and ask, “What were you thinking to let your daughter wander into marriage without even a basic understanding of feminine hygiene?!?!?”
And then I thought, “Oh, her poor husband!”
I wanted to scream four simple words loud enough so that she could hear me in Philadelphia all the way from Los Angeles: Summer’s Eve Intimate Cleanser!
In case this is a newsflash to you, let me explain a few things:
- Yes, the vaginal CANAL is a self-cleaning oven, but the “oven door” has to be wiped down regularly! The vaginal lips (the internal and external folds of skin surrounding the vaginal canal) collect sweat and bacteria like any other crack or crevice of your body. Not to get too gross here, but you wouldn’t expect your husband to lick between your toes or under your armpit unless it had been thoroughly washed with soap and water, right? A sexually confident wife should have just as sensitive of standards with her nether region!
- Doctors recommend that women should not douche more than once a month (if at all) because inserting those chemicals inside your vaginal canal washes away all your natural (good) bacteria that fight off infections. But what I’m talking about here isn’t using an internal douche. It’s about simply cleansing in between the folds of skin to eliminate foul odors (and tastes).
- If you desire oral sex from your husband (not all women do, and that’s okay), also realize that in addition to proper cleansing, keeping your pubic hair neatly trimmed would probably make the experience far more pleasurable for him! I can’t imagine anyone enjoying a mouthful of hair.
Okay, enough gross stuff. “Nuff said. Just keep it clean, Ladies! Keep it clean!
And for anyone who has read this – flabbergasted — and wondered, “Isn’t oral sex sinful?” I’d say show me in the Bible where it’s forbidden! (God didn’t accidentally leave that part out by mistake, I assure you!) Think about it — KY Jelly wasn’t invented until centuries after the Garden of Eden, so I can’t imagine oral sex wasn’t part of God’s perfect design to naturally lubricate that which often needs lubrication for sexual intimacy to take place. In fact, I’ll close by simply quoting Scripture directly:
“I delight to sit in my lover’s shade.
His fruit is sweet to my taste!”
(Song of Solomon 2:3)
(Sounds pretty oral to me, wouldn’t you say?)