With the national release of The Sexually Confident Wife this week, we’re in full swing with radio and television interviews, for both the mainstream and Christian market. In fact, be sure to tune into The Today Show (NBC) next Friday, October 3rd during the 10 a.m. (eastern time) hour!
All interviews have gone incredibly well so far, and both male and female interviewers are enthusiastically supporting this much-needed message. However, I was flabbergasted at the direction that one interviewer went in (a radio talk show pastor who shall remain nameless). Just to hit the highlights, he said things like:
- “But isn’t sex part of our sinful ‘animal’ nature?” I expressed my disagreement, explaining that God created man (and woman!) as sexual beings BEFORE the fall of man. There’s nothing sinful about married sex. God gave Adam and Eve the command to “be fruitful and multiply,” which means “have sex and make babies.” His rebuttal was, “But Adam and Eve weren’t able to fulfill that command until AFTER the fall.” As if God commanded mankind to do something that we’d have to SIN in order to accomplish??!! Therefore no child is ever born out of LOVE, only out of SIN? I don’t think so! But that’s not all. Keep reading…
- “Oral sex is part of our ‘animal nature!” Excuse me, but I can’t think of a single animal on the planet that has oral sex. Can you? I explained that long before personal lubricants were invented, God gave us the gift of saliva, and the Song of Solomon is VERY “oral” in nature (i.e. ”I delight to sit in my lover’s shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste… Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.”) His response was that Solomon’s demise was his sexual relationships with his multiple wives. So we should just disregard that book of the Bible? I refuse to do that! Besides, it was Solomon’s worship of the false gods of his foreign wives that led to his demise, not his marital sex life.
- “When a woman gives her husband sex it only makes him want more and more, so she’s going to feel put upon and he’s going to have to look elsewhere… it’s best for a woman to not awaken that ‘animal nature’ in her husband.” HELLO??!! So a wife should just withhold all sex from her husband and expect him to be asexual (completely celebate with no sexual thoughts, longings, etc.)? Once again, I declared that I strongly disagree, indicating that this would be a recipe for a major marital disaster. I replied, “My husband and many other men in this world receive sexual pleasure from their wives several times a week, and they are perfectly satisfied. They DON’T go looking elsewhere, NOR do all their wives feel “put upon” because she gets plenty of pleasure out of it too!
UGH! Does any of this make your blood boil like it does mine? I feel like I need to step outside for a cigarette, and I don’t even smoke.
I don’t know if you hold any religious beliefs or not, but if you do, please know that God does NOT turn His back in disdain every time a husband and wife make love. He doesn’t blush, or roll His eyes, or complain, “Oh gee, they’re doing THAT again?” On the contrary, God’s desire is for married couples to frequently unwrap the gift He has given us in one another and freely enjoy intimate pleasures, without one ounce of guilt or shame.
‘Nuff said. I’ll get off my soapbox now so my blood pressure doesn’t send me into heart attack mode.
Wishing you the BEST sex,
Obviously, that guy is one of the people that needed this book so badly…is he married???!?! Poor wife!!!! Don’t worry, Shannon, the rest of us out here get it LOUD and CLEAR – God made us as sexual beings and in the committed relationship of marriage sex is GREAT!!! Just remember, most of your audience does not have some mental issue, like that guy!!!
The book is FABULOUS!!! A must read for any married woman out there, or anyone headed down the aisle, or anyone wanting to help someone in those situations. Heck, everybody should read it!!!
Hold your head high – you’ve written an awesome book!
ha! I summarized this blog for my roommate and her response was “does this man have children?!?”
…such silly people…
I got your book and read it this weekend. I am out of town right now, but I UPS’d it to my wife as a surprise with a short card.
I really appreciated your tasteful honesty and frankness throughout the book.
YES!!! That’s my Shannon!!!!! Way to go!!!!!
I love that you know scripture to back up your passion!!!!!!
🙂 🙂 🙂
THAT’S WHY I LOVE YOU!!!!! (well…one of the reasons:)
I am in SHOCK by that interview. Thank goodness you were there to explain the TRUTH!! I NEED to get your book soon. Thank you so much for your faithfulness to write these books and get them out there.
I just started reading “The Sexually Confident Wife” as soon as it came out and I have never been more excited to finish a book. I’m already learning so much and discovering more about myself and my fiancee. We’ve been discussing the book a lot and learning about each other in the process. We’re actually abstaining for sex until our wedding night and reading this book is helping us to prepare for our marriage. Will you be writing one for men? Also, I took your “Women at the Well” class at the Honor Academy in 2004-2005 and taking everything I’ve learned from that class and combining it with what you’ve written here has really helped me understand my role as a Christian woman and a wife. Thanks for everything.
Your responses are perfect! Love it.
Thanks for being so open and honest.
I’m thinking about what the pastor interviewing you said and I am sad but not surprised. This is what happens when people speak out of their brokenness. I don’t know that pastor but I wince when I read his words because it’s clear that he thinks sex is from our lower animal nature, then he thinks HIS sexual feelings is from his lower animal nature. (wince) poor darling! Seriously, that is just tragic.
Your frustration is real, Shannon, and totally legit.
Sexual brokenness is everywhere in our culture. Unfortunately, not every interviewer will have emerged from this pervasive sexual brokenness unscathed. I believe that man’s comments said a lot about him and nothing about you. I believe God has much more sexual wholeness for that dear man than he is currently experiencing.
I think you answered beautifully!
God’s gift of saliva. Love that!
Amen Sista! Way to shed some Godly light on a subject that has been put in the dark for so long. I’m so glad you do what you do! Great responses. Keep it up!