Confidence Buster #2: Neglecting Personal Hygiene
Even if you reserve plenty of time and energy for intimate sexual encounters, you may discover a lack of sexual interest on your husband’s part if you fail to make personal hygiene a priority as well. Foul odors and tastes will quickly rob both a husband and wife of their sexual confidence, as was evidenced in my conversation with Kyle and Emily. Married eight months, Emily was exasperated by her husband’s “sexual selfishness” and lack of interest in performing oral sex in order to bring her to orgasm. “I’m happy to perform oral sex practically every time, yet all he ever thinks about is himself. He’ll only touch me enough to get me wet, but once he’s done getting his own jollies, he’s done,” Emily complained. After several such attacks, Kyle couldn’t take the criticism any longer and finally spoke the truth. “I don’t mind giving oral sex! In fact, I enjoy it, but not when you smell bad!” he exploded. I was embarrassed for Emily but glad the root of the issue was finally being exposed so that it could be remedied.
Upon further questioning, I discovered that Emily’s mother had given her the impression that an “earthy” smell was natural and that douches and deodorants were dangerous to the sensitive vaginal region. This is only partially true, so let’s look at our next confidence booster to get the whole truth.
Confidence Booster #2: Showering and Shaving
You may have heard Dr. Mehmet Oz on the Oprah show talking about how the “va-j-j” (as Oprah calls it) is a “self-cleaning oven,” but even the best self-cleaning oven requires that you manually clean the front of the oven door!
Granted, the vaginal canal (where the penis is inserted and where a baby exits the womb) is a self-cleaning oven, and to use a douche too often can upset your pH balance and wash away good, disease-fighting bacteria. Most doctors advise women not to use a douche at all for this reason. However, for your husband to get to the vaginal canal, he must encounter the labia, and that is not a self-cleaning area. In fact, just like every other crack and crevice in your body, it is a breeding ground for odor-causing bacteria. Spraying feminine deodorants in this area may mask foul smells, but it only covers them up and may leave an unpleasant taste for your husband to have to deal with.
So if a woman shouldn’t douche and deodorants are insufficient, what should she do? There are special products such as Summer’s Eve Intimate Cleanser made to be used just like soap on a woman’s vaginal area. It isn’t inserted into the vaginal canal, but rather massaged between your outer labia majora and inner labia minora to wash away foul odors and leave you feeling fresh and confident. Some types of intimate cleansers are especially made for sensitive skin, but if you find that you break out as a result of using such products, you can still sit in a warm tub of water and use a washcloth to wipe your vaginal area clean.
This type of cleansing is especially important following your menstrual cycle, but can actually be done every day if you choose, which will certainly provide a sense of sexual confidence every time your husband spontaneously gets all touchy-feely! You won’t have to kill the moment by responding to his advances, “Oh, wait, I’m not clean right now! Wait until later!” Later may or may not happen.
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by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2008. All Rights Reserved. Published by Random House Inc, New York, NY. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.