7. Sexual fantasies are better left unspoken and unexplored. False.
Granted, certain individuals have tried to openly share some of their most troubling sexual fantasies only to face harsh consequences, such as:
* Olivia, who was asked to resign her position as a Sunday school teacher when she confessed to her pastor’s wife that she struggled with sexual fantasy and masturbation.
* Kent, whose wife packed her bags and left him when he admitted that he was having a hard time controlling his thoughts about a woman at work.
* Marcia, who admitted to a female friend that she was hooked on lesbian pornography, only to have that female friend seduce her into a sexual relationship that produced even more feelings of guilt and shame.
We always run a risk when we choose to be vulnerable about anything sexual. And sometimes it really is better to keep certain things to ourselves – at least until we find someone who can truly help us without hurting us first.
But when we do find that person who can help us see beyond the forest and into the trees, the healing it can bring is astounding! And becoming a “safe person” who can help others experience the sexual and spiritual breakthroughs they are looking for is even more rewarding!
Therefore, I urge you not to ignore your own fantasies, but to carefully consider their deeper meanings. If we look beyond the fantasies themselves, we can expose the driving forces operating within us that often lead us toward destructive relational patterns. This deeper understanding of ourselves and how we relate with others is an invaluable part of growing, maturing, and finding freedom to fully enjoy our sexuality!
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Excerpted from The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2012. All Rights Reserved. Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, TN. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.