In this blog series, I’m giving you a “sneak peek” into my “Reader Mailbag” – sharing actual questions I’ve received from (and answers I’ve shared with) folks who struggle over “Real Relationship” issues – just like you and me!
I hope the series is both eye-opening and edifying! And if YOU have a question you’d like to see answered, send it our way! You can email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org
Is Low Sex-Drive a “Generational Curse?”
Bill from Philadelphia writes:
“Hey, Shannon, I have a question I’ve never heard asked or answered. Can low sex drive (or NO sex drive) in a woman (or man) be a generational curse? You know, the Bible talks about curses running through families. My wife has an extremely low sex drive and so did her mother and grandmother. It’s created a lot of problems as you can imagine.”
I’ve never heard of low sex drive being a generational curse, especially since no woman is particularly mentioned in the Bible as having a low sex drive (although I guess some of them could have). I assume by your question you’re referring to the following passage of Scripture:
“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” (Exodus 20:4-6)
Although it’s easy to read this passage and tremble in fear over what “generational curses” we (or our spouse) may have inherited, I want to call your attention to the words following that foreboding statement: “…of those who hate me, but showing LOVE to a THOUSAND generations of those who love me…” The reason why this last part of the sentence is so key is because as believers in Christ Jesus, all generational curses are completely broken! We do NOT suffer punishment for the sins of generations past.
The reality is that sometimes we give Satan too much credit or try to spiritualize something that’s actually very humanly-driven. By nature, human beings are drawn to the familiar, and if it was familiar for a woman to grow up around other women with low sex drives, low self-esteem, victim mentalities, etc., it’s only natural that she will gravitate that direction too.
But the good news is that learned behavior can also be unlearned. Women developing new, healthier patterns of relating sexually within marriage is exactly what this ministry is all about, so I hope your wife will visit both our websites (www.shannonethridge.com and www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com) and check out a few of the books and other blogs for inspiration! I’d particularly recommend The Sexually Confident Wife book!