I heard a lady exclaim the other day, “Parents shouldn’t talk so openly with children about sex or else it will awaken their desires!” Sorry, but I couldn’t disagree more.
Ask any teen, “The last time your parents tried to talk to you about sex, did it cause you to have to run off to your room and masturbate?” I promise, they’ll turn green at the thought and might even puke on your shoes. Kids don’t get “turned on” by healthy conversations with their parents. But they might get turned on by what the world has to offer if we don’t coach them on how to guard their minds, hearts, and bodies in this sex-saturated world and let them know how to have the best sex… by waiting until marriage, of course!
There’s a BIG difference between INNOCENCE and IGNORANCE!!! We simply don’t keep kids innocent by keeping them ignorant! If anything, we set kids up to LOSE their innocence when we try to keep them ignorant. My life is a testimony to this fact. My parents never told me anything, so I didn’t have words to communicate what was happening when I was sexually abused at 12 by several uncles, then acquaintance-raped at 14, and became sexually active from 15 to 20 years of age. I truly believe if they’d told me a little more than, “Why will he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free?” perhaps I could have made much better choices. I’m not trying to blame my parents entirely for the poor choices I made, but you can bet my kids have gotten a whole heck of a lot more in the way of honest, open conversations about sexuality at every stage of their development!
I want to hear from you — What did your parents tell (or not tell) you about sexuality, and what impact did that have on the sexual choices you’ve made in your life? What do you wish they’d done differently? And an even bigger question – what are you going to do differently (or the same) with your OWN kids?
Wishing you sexually healthy children (who grow up to become sexually confident wives and husbands, who give you all the grandchildren your heart desires!),
P.S. If you’re wondering when & how to talk to your children about sexual issues, I encourage you to read the last chapter of The Sexually Confident Wife (called “Passing the Baton”) as well as the following books:
Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle
(available at www.shannonethridge.com),
Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle
(available at www.fredstoeker.com)