There’s no one who would really understand my struggle.
I believe that this myth exists because women don’t usually discuss their sex lives with other women, perhaps because they fear judgment. Unfortunately, these fears are often confirmed as legitimate very early in childhood when you trust a grade-school friend with a secret and she inevitably whispers it to two friends, or worse, tells the boy you have a crush on all about your confession. These experiences taught us that we must guard our deepest, darkest secrets from other women.
Some of us grew up with guys as our best friends because we felt so strongly that girls simply could not be trusted. Many of us also found out the hard way that confiding in a young man could even be more dangerous than confiding in a female friend. All a girl could do is betray your confidence. A boy could take advantage of your vulnerability and make you his next prey if you weren’t standing firm in your convictions.
Another reason women aren’t as open about their sexual struggles is because of the humiliation that comes with giving sex in order to get love. Most women don’t brag about the number of sexual partners they’ve had. That’s because for a woman, the relationship is the prize; the sex was simply the price she had to pay to get the prize. If she paid the price, but still didn’t get the prize, there is an incredible amount of humiliation that comes with that. What woman wants to announce to the world her humiliation?
Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to [woman]. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Paul didn’t say, “If you experience sexual temptation, there must be something wrong with you because no one else struggles with it that much.” He said that all temptations are common. And because God creates all human beings (regardless of gender, nationality, or economic background) as sexual human beings, you can bet that sexual and relational temptations are by far the most common temptations on the planet.