On Saturday Night Live, Billy Crystal (mimicking Fernando Lamas) frequently used to say, “It’s not important how you feel, Dahling. It’s how you look, and you look ma-a-a-hvelous!” But the reverse is far more accurate. What you look like isn’t nearly as important as how you feel about yourself. It’s not your perfectly proportioned assets, but your perfectly confident attitude that floats his boat the most.
Granted, if your weight has gotten out of control and you’ve truly let yourself go, you are going to feel much better about yourself after you start to look better. But when you’ve done all you can do toward that end (excluding starving yourself or undergoing plastic surgery), you owe it to yourself to be pleased with your personal best, which is going to look different than someone else’s personal best because we are all unique. But I believe every woman should be able to look into the mirror, appreciate the beauty of what she sees, and be proud to share that precious gift freely with her husband — stretch marks, c-section scars, cellulite, and all. Let’s take a lesson from Lacey, who emailed:
We’ve been married five years, and my daughter is three. I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant, which affected my self-esteem. However, when I’m having sex with my husband, I feel totally uninhibited, and for that little bit of time, I forget how I look or how much I dislike my excess pounds. When my husband tells me I am beautiful and that he loves me and desires me, I may not always understand why, but I never doubt it. I can be sexually confident because I am confident in his feelings for me. I know my husband enjoys sex with me no matter what I look like. I think you can be a little dissatisfied with your body but still be a very sexually confident wife.
Indeed, you can be a sexually confident wife, regardless of your size or shape!