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Author and Advocate for Healthy Sexuality and Spirituality

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Invite Him Into Your Healing Process!

01/09/2009 by Shannon Ethridge 4 Comments

Invite Him Into Your Healing Process!

For years, I never told my husband that I’d been sexually abused by some of my uncles.  Why?  Because (1) I was stupid enough to think that because I didn’t let them actually have sex with me that it didn’t effect me, and (2) because I didn’t want him to view me as “damaged goods.”

But about six years into our marriage, I finally took my counselor’s advice and explained to Greg everything that had happened to me when I was between the ages of 11 & 13.  One particular uncle would wake me up in the middle of the night and escort me from my cousin’s bedroom into the living room where he would grope me and force me to kiss him, which was like licking an ash tray, and my upper lip felt so assaulted by his thick, bristly mustache.

As I explained all of this to Greg, he exclaimed, “Is THAT why you get so angry when you smell cigarette smoke?  And is THAT why you rarely kiss me anymore since I grew a mustache?”  I had never consciously made those connections, but I couldn’t deny that they made perfect sense.  The very next morning, Greg shaved his mustache off, climbed back in bed, and scooped me up in his arms to catch up on the months of kissing we’d missed out on.  I felt so incredibly SAFE in his arms, and discovered a new level of sexual passion for my protector.

Ladies, if you’ve suffered any sort of sexual abuse, please know that I am SO sorry you had to endure that.  But don’t let your abuser rob you of any more than he already has!!!  Invite your husband into your healing process, share what you’ve experienced, and let his love be a healing balm to your soul.

Wishing you the wholeness you deserve,

Shannon

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Filed Under: Abuse, Healing

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Who Am I says

    01/09/2009 at 12:09 pm

    Can your blog be set so readers can forward posts? Or is it already set and I haven’t found out how to do it?

    A lot of your posts I would love to forward to my wife, but instead I have to copy and paste into an e mail.

    Thanks

  2. Suzette says

    01/18/2009 at 9:24 pm

    Hi Shannon, this has blessed me extremely, as a survivor of sexual abuse, I struggly with not being enough & being so damage and as I read your blogs, books, etc. I’m truly blessed

  3. Thandi says

    02/09/2009 at 7:11 am

    This is a wonderful testimony.

  4. Carol says

    08/11/2012 at 12:04 am

    I’m not married, but I hope that when I do get into a serious relationship that I can be completely open about the abuse that I’ve endured. I am so thankful for you and your testimony, it has helped me so much!

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