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Author and Advocate for Healthy Sexuality and Spirituality

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Hope for Women Living in a Porn Torn World: SOS! Pick up your paddle and wave

05/05/2012 by Shannon Ethridge Leave a Comment

Hope for Women Living in a Porn Torn World: SOS! Pick up your paddle and wave

I will be posting a 3 part series by Elle Emmerson!
Enjoy!
-Shannon

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The summers of my youth were spent vacationing on a lake. I was 16, carefree, and in love. One night, my boyfriend and I escaped for a private canoe ride. We didn’t tell our parents, didn’t take life jackets, and didn’t bring flashlights. We just took each other. Pushing off from shore was the only decision we made that summer’s night that was in our control.
Paddling out into the middle of the lake, we floated blissfully beneath a corner of heaven’s canopy. All was peaceful and romantic until our date was interrupted by the sound of a ski boat heading out on the water at full speed. The roar of the engine echoed off lofty mountain peaks from every direction. Standing up in the canoe and looking out into the night, I zeroed in on the boat. It was bearing down on us at high speed. We started to scream, hoping to be heard in time.
But the deadly dark swallowed our hope. The moon lay hidden under dense cloud cover. We braced ourselves for the impact of a direct hit only seconds away.
Then, a thought flashed into my mind. It was something I had read in an outdoors magazine at the dentist’s office. “Canoe safety tip #1. When a powerboat comes dangerously close to your canoe, pick up your paddle and wave.”
Instinctively, I picked up my paddle and waved with all my might! At that moment, the sky parted its grey veil of secrecy and the brilliant moon shone through. The sudden glint of my paddle was seen just in time.
With a head-on head collision avoided, the boat passed just inches off our right side. Our canoe was swamped, but we were alive.
Living in the wake of your husband’s sexual sin makes you and your marriage targets of Satan. He wants to take you both out.
Just as no one knew we were out in the canoe that summer’s night, maybe no one knows what’s going on beneath the surface of your married life. You’re ashamed to admit to friends and family that there’s a problem. Satan works best in darkness and secrecy. But continuing to live a marriage of pretense only suspends the laws of sowing and reaping in your husband’s life.  It’s not honoring to God or your marriage.  You must seek help.  I did and it is making all the difference in the story of our lives.  God is delivering my husband from the ocean of darkness in his heart one day at a time.
Perhaps you’ve discovered your husband’s addiction to Internet porn and didn’t see it coming. Blindsided! The impact blew you right out of the water. All along you’ve been pretending the gaping wound of little or no sexual intimacy wasn’t a big deal. Now, you realize his little online habit is just the tip of the iceberg.
Maybe he feigned being a devoted family man and great provider for your children. In reality, he’s been spending your vacation fund on calls to 900-numbers for phone sex. How could he sink so low?
Had you believed your marriage was unsinkable? Your husband always faithful?
Now you’re facing a head-on collision with a painful reality. Should you jump ship while you’re still able? Wait for a rescue? Bail? Or, simply go down together?
You’ve been afraid to “rock the boat” and confront him; it’s frightening to face the awful truth of your situation. But the continued downward cycles of sexual sin have enormous destructive power to rip a hole right through your heart.  You can’t afford to wait.
But here’s the hope in your story and mine. Just as the moon’s rays reflected off my canoe paddle and saved me from a deadly collision, Jesus is the light shining in our darkest night. He exposes and defeats Satan’s plans for our destruction by his victory on the cross.

God longs to come to our rescue and help us ride out the treacherous waves of betrayal.
Hear hope from the book of Isaiah (58:8-9): “Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help and he will say: Here am I.”
On that near tragic night out on the water, I picked up my paddle and waved.
Call out to God in your troubles. Send out an SOS. Trust him with your life. God is waiting to pluck you out of the frigid depths of despair and recover your capsized heart. He’ll swim with you through the painful waters of your marriage and keep your heart afloat throughout the journey back to shore.  Just pick up your paddle and wave!
——————————————————
Dear God,
Our marriage is in deep waters of trouble. Help me not to be afraid, but to trust in you. Be my strength and help in trouble. Give me courage to share with friends and family who can help us. Restore our lives by your righteousness, healing, and resurrection power. Deliver us from that which threatens to destroy us. In your mighty name Jesus, Amen.

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Filed Under: Healing, Marriage, Pornography

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