I could tell it was a much-needed “Aha!” moment for her, as I thought she might stand up afterward and shout, “Hooray! I don’t have to play the victim anymore!” In truth, the responsibility was on both their shoulders, not just his. She could have said no just as easily as he could have. We all need to own up to the fact that unless we are truly physically overpowered and forcefully raped, we always have a say in the matter. Perhaps we said no with our words, but our reciprocal and responsive actions probably spoke a lot louder in the heat of the moment. We each must own up to the power that we willingly surrendered at the time, and give up the victim mentality. It serves no good purpose. When we recognize that we weren’t victims, but rather, initially-reluctant-yet-ultimately-willing partners, then forgiveness is no longer just a one-way street. It becomes a two-lane highway. It’s amazing how much easier it is to forgive another person when we realize how much we ourselves are in need of forgiveness for the exact same infraction. Throwing a stone isn’t something we’re as eager to do when we realize just how much we belong in the middle of the stone-throwing circle ourselves.
If this section has struck a chord in you and/or your spouse, how about praying this prayer together: