Defining “Normal”- Part 2



In order for you to overcome any mental obstacles to being a sexually confident wife, we are going to discuss a few “blue issues” and “pink things” commonly presented in this 5 part series.
Blue Issue #1: Is it normal that my husband wants sex practically all the time?
While not all men want sex all the time, most crave it quite often.  For some guys, “often” means a few times per week.  For some, it can mean every day, or even multiple times per day on occasion.  And if he isn’t asking for it, he may still be thinking about it.  Many men report thinking about sex dozens of times per day, and that’s just before lunchtime.  This doesn’t make him an animal, but merely a healthy, high-functioning sexual male. 
Why is this so hard for some of us to wrap our female brains around?  Because we often view sex as something we do when we’re horny or aroused (more about the female sex drive when we talk about “pink things” shortly).  But men usually have a much broader view of sex than women.  To the male mind, body, and soul, there’s:
  • Boredom Sex – “What better way to bring some excitement into my day?”
  • Celebration Sex – “What’s happening is so great we should celebrate with great sex!”
  • Stress-Relieving Sex – “The only way I’m ever going to get my mind off work is to make love to my wife!”
  • Post-exercise Sex – “Now that I’ve had this great workout, I’m ready to chase my wife around the house!”
  • Bonding Sex – “I just want to feel the warmth of my woman next to me.”
  • Comfort Sex – “I’m hurting so badly on the inside that I long for a soothing sexual touch on the outside..”
In case you need it spelled out more clearly, men use sex for A-L-L kinds of reasons.  This is just how they are wired, and a sexually confident wife’s goal will always be to affirm that part of her husband’s sexuality rather than make him feel abnormal.
In addition to connecting sex with all sorts of varying emotions, men also are wired physically to desire sex often because they are naturally high testosterone-producers.  Testosterone is the hormone primarily responsible for our sex drive.  Typically, men produce far more testosterone than women, which results in their having bigger muscles, courser body hair, deeper voices, and sexual organs that often stand at attention for no reason at all.  And the more testosterone a man’s body produces, the more often he’s going to desire sex.  Don’t chastise him for it.  Celebrate the fact that his masculine body functions so fully!



Miss Part of the Series?
Part 1


Excerpted from The Sexually Confident Wife: Connecting with Your Husband Mind*Body*Heart*Spirit by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2008.  All Rights Reserved. Published by Random House Inc, New York, NY. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.