…There’ve been many times in the past when I slipped into the deep, dark abyss of “he just doesn’t meet my emotional needs,” figuring my husband simply didn’t love me any more. I should have softly approached him and said, “I’m missing you a lot lately. Can we spend some time together soon? Maybe go out to dinner and walk around the park?” But no, I was immature enough to believe that he should know what’s wrong with me, and know exactly how to fix it. I expected him to read my mind. I wanted him to get down on one knee like Maverick in Top Gun, grab my hand, look deeply into my eyes, and wail, “Bring back that lovin’ feeling, cause it’s gone, gone, gone, whoa-oa-oa!” But guess what? It didn’t happen. And when it didn’t happen the way I fantasized it should, I got angrier… and lonelier… and I was robbing myself of every loving feeling I ever had for him.
Remember that it’s easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than to feel your way into a new way of acting. Reach out. Touch him. Take his hand and put it on whatever body part most yearns to be touched, whether that’s your cheek, your shoulders, your thighs, your earlobes, or wherever. Offer him your hand and tell him to do the same. Don’t underestimate the power of effective communication and tender touch. They are the key to refueling your loving feelings.