I’m flying out shortly to speak in Canada all weekend, but thought I’d leave this for your to chew on from my file of interesting tidbits…
Think loving your husband is enough to exempt you from having an affair? Not so says an article in Redbook. What really makes women vulnerable to unfaithfulness? Here’s a few ways to predict if you’re at risk:
- You work — It provides opportunity simple because you spend 8 hours a day in close contact with men. And because women are still outnumbered by men in the workforce, they have more potential lovers.
- One of your parents cheated — There’s a greater tendency to repeat family patterns.
- You initiate sex with your husband — If you’re comfortable being the aggresor, then you won’t have a problem coming on to someone you’re interested in.
- Your friends are having affairs — Peer pressure!
- You live in a big city — Residents of small towns tend to frown on affairs. Most likely because everyone knows everyone.
- Your husband dominates you — An affair can be a declaration of independence.
- You’re better educated than your husband — Perhaps because you feel more powerful.
- You’re at a transition or crisis point — Maybe approaching your 30th birthday or whatever and you feel uncertain about the direction of your life.
- You’ve just moved to a new community.
- A parent has recently died — This may make you feel like doing things you know your mom or dad would have disapproved of.
- You and your husband spend a lot of time apart.
- You have a special friendship with a man.
- You’ve always been a “good girl.”
- Your husband criticizes your looks — Many of us, especially women, judge ourselves based on how we’re viewed by others. But husbands often forget to give compliments or worse,feel free to find fault.
- You’re content with your marriage — This might cause you to believe that since you have all the love and security at home, it’s okay then to have fun. You’ll see sex and love as two totally different things.
Some of these are scary, huh? Just proves the point of almost every book I’ve ever written on female sexuality — we MUST be vigilant in GUARDING our hearts, Ladies!
Wishing you much faithfulness in your marriage,
Shannon
Lori says
…Amen sista!
On another note, it is very important that you are in a place in your marriage to talk about these things! Too many men and women think that they guard their hearts on thier own! They fear being completely honest with their spouse may result in anger or suspiciousness. Quite the opposite, we need to share our weakness and temptations. If you struggle in a certain area, your spouse NEEDS to know. Not to condemn you but to pray with you, encourage you and be the one you lean on! Likewise, he or she will be more open to share with you. Marriages fall apart because there is no intimacy in communication! If you can communicate your feelings to one another without shame or rejection, your intimacy will grow deeper.
Men don’t have to just share with the guys. Women should’nt have to lean on the girls for advice or accountability. Don’t get me wrong, accountability is an important thing and necessary. I just want couples to know that the things we share should be safe in our own bedrooms! Your spouse needs to know how you feel or where your weakness is! Accountability in this realm will help you to guard against the outside forces that attemp to break down marriages every day!
So, who ever said great sex does’nt begin with great communication, has never had a trusted lover! Go talk people…share your deepest concerns! See what God will do with your marriage when the secrets have been voiced!
Thank you Shannon!
I will pray for you while you are in Canada! Expect God to do Awesome things…He will!
Blessings to you!