First, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who’s been posting comments in response to these blogs! It’s much more fun to hear what YOU have to say, so keep it up! We all want to hear from you!
Another big THANK YOU to AOL (America Online) for posting the “69 Questions for Self-Assessment” (from chapter 1 of The Sexually Confident Wife) on the AOL Health page on August 30th. Just in the few hours it was posted, 5.7 million people took the quiz. Hopefully that will translate into many books sold, marriages improved, and families strengthened!
Here’s a question from “K.” that was sent via email in response to the AOL article:
Question: I just took the quiz on AOL. Do you realize all the women they show are super skinny and super sexy? If this is what you represent I don’t care to read your book. One suggestion was to feel great no matter your size, and not compare yourself to other women, but then they show super-models in every picture in bed. I don’t know if that is you or AOL, but perhaps a little editing is in order. And yes, I’m fat and yes, I’m jealous. – K.
SO glad you asked, K! I was so focused on making sure I didn’t have any typographical errors in my responses to AOL’s questions that I didn’t even notice the photos that they selected! But GOOD NEWS — we were very intentional about including sketches of REAL WOMEN in the book, not human Barbie dolls! You’ll see buxom women, flat-chested women, obese women, women of all races, etc. because I absolutely agree with you — most books make you feel as if you have no right to enjoy sex unless you look like a tiny waif. Certainly depressing. But I pray you’ll find The Sexually Confident Wife incredibly encouraging, because sexual confidence really IS your birthright, no matter the numbers on your bathroom scale!
What about you? Have you ever picked up a book or magazine article only to find that it ROBBED you of sexual confidence because of the pictures they used? Does all this air-brushing take the wind right out of your sexual sails? Do we feel as if we can never live up to the impossible standards the media has created? If so, how does it make you feel, and what impact has it had on your marriage?
Also, dive into chapter 7 (“Befriending the Body Image Bear”). And I hope you’ll find the sketches in chapter 10 (“Tantalizing Sexual Techniques”) incredibly ENCOURAGING, not discouraging!
Wishing you the BEST sex,
Shannon
Crystal Keilers says
I live in Dallas, went to SMU (the mecca of beautiful, thin, rich women) & come against the pressure to be skinny & model sexy daily. …And I don’t fit the mold (yes, I’m chubby & yes I get jealous). BUT the message that Shannon has imparted into me (& many other women) & is also conveying in this book is that sexiness is a condition of the heart. My husband would second that notion. Our inward sex kitten is often scared & wounded. So rather than flirt & entice, we hiss & claw & retreat. I can guarantee this book isn’t about how to be the sexy AOL models you saw in the article, but rather to heal & awaken to the fact that you are desirable.
Laura Taff says
Wow! This is so awesome! I am so enjoying reading the book. At first I felt like, yes, yes, this is how I feel! But, what do I do about it? Starting to feel frustrated I told myself, “keep reading, keep reading”. By the end of the 2nd chapter I was already equipped with something I could do. That’s why I love Shannon’s books. Its like she’s read my mind! I’ve tried a lot of things to get over this “bump” in my marriage and I feel like I have some hope.
I actually just built a retail website (I won’t list it here, I’m not advertising.) that offers intimacy enhancing products for marriage covenant partners. I had gone to this “Brown Bag Party Lady” party a year or so back, and felt so uncomfortable with all of the things they were advertising. (I.E. …”And this one is great for masturbation!”)In trying to find cool things to share with my husband, I had to hear about and subject myself to things I wasn’t comfortable with. I actually bought some things that vibrated thinking, “Oh yeah! I can use this with my husband.” Later, we threw them out…we just couldn’t feel good about them. In building my site, I’m only offering products that have no pornographic pictures, no outlandish product names, and that wives and husbands can really use together without the temptation of one or the other to use it for masturbation. (Things like massage oils, candles, and even the fun stuff like edible body dust, etc. I’m also going to be taking photos of lingerie on a manneuin instead of displaying the photos with the “perfect 10” models hanging out of their night-wear.)
Anyway, I’m believing that with this book and my newfound passion to offer more appropriate products for marriage covenant partners that this whole thing is finally going to turn around in my life. Thank you Jesus.