After reading a headline like that, some husbands may think I’m going to say, “Clean the kitchen.” And some wives may think I’m going to say, “Put on some racy lingerie.”Now don’t get me wrong. If you want to clean the kitchen to bless your spouse or slip into an alluring negligee to entice your husband into the bedroom, far be it from me to suggest you nix those ideas. But I did have something else in mind too when I proclaimed the sexiest thing you can do on Valentine’s Day.
I speak and write on sex in marriage, so couples ask me what makes for great sex. While I have included at the end of this post some techniques, I want to start with something more foundational. Friendship with your spouse!
What’s friendship look like in your marriage? I have found when my husband and I are doing well when our clothes are on, everything becomes intensely sexier when our clothes come off.
Friendship in marriage is hot (at least it can be with the right attitude!) A husband and wife with a solid friendship experience deep trust, selflessness and respect. They have fun together and want the best for each other. Hmmm… trust, selflessness, respect, fun and wanting the best for each other. Those sound like awesome building blocks for mind-blowing sex. So this Valentine’s Day, think about how you can grow in your friendship. Commit this year to spending more time together and nurturing authentic intimacy when your clothes are on. Do that and you’ll appreciate where such friendship leads when your clothes come off.
Speaking of clothes coming off, I promised a few ideas you could try this Valentine’s Day. Here goes:
1. Something Sweet It seems so cliché to suggest including whipped cream or chocolate sauce in your sexual encounter, but these are easy to enjoy. For a variation on something sweet, try something hot. Sip some hot water before preforming oral sex. Super sexy sensation for sure!
2. Something Unexpected Try a new position. As a wife, being on top is a great position, especially for increasing your own sexual pleasure. Plus, it gives him a nice visual and frees his hands for sensual caressing. This is true whether you are facing him (often referred to as the cowgirl position) or facing away from him (reverse cowgirl). What other positions do you want to try? Get creative. Husbands, if you want to up the odds that she will have an orgasm, read the post at this link.
3. Something Adventurous My husband and I love foreplay and sometimes even sex in the living room. If you have kids at home, this might be tricky unless you can be assured that your privacy won’t be compromised. Our kids have always been sound sleepers and far enough away from our living room that we would have heard them coming and been able to quickly shift gears if need be. Maybe you want to be sexually playful in the shower. Or if you are driving home from a nice Valentine’s dinner out, let your hands wander suggestively. Better yet, take an Uber and it will be easy to enjoy a passionate kiss in the back seat. Keep it clean and discreet, though. I mean, there is an Uber driver a mere two feet from you!
4. Something Alluring I’ve long thought that undressing each other increases the sexual anticipation. It has the side benefits of boosting trust and sexual confidence, too. For a wildly popular read on this, check out my post Does It Excite You to Have Your Spouse Undress You? Some couples also find it tantalizing to take turns blindfolding each other. I recently did this with my husband, and let’s just say he was more than intrigued!
5. Something Bold Sexy is 90 percent mindset and 10 percent execution. Get the mindset right and the execution follows suit. What is something bold you could do sexually? Surprise her with a romantic night at a nice hotel? Invite him home for lunch and then wow him with midday sex? Get creative and bold.
As you are thinking of sexy things you can do this Valentine’s Day, start with a healthy dose of authentic friendship. As for passionate sex, that should never be reserved for just one day of the year. Valentine’s Day can happen throughout the year, if you know what I mean!
Julie Sibert writes and speaks out of her own story, encouraging couples to nurture authentic sexual intimacy in marriage. She lives in Omaha, Nebraska, with her husband, two sons and a dog named Stella.
You can follow Julie’s blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com and download her free report 3 Keys to Passionate Sex God’s Way.