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Author and Advocate for Healthy Sexuality and Spirituality

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How Is Fantasy A Friend? Part 1

09/17/2018 by Nicki Bradshaw

How Is Fantasy A Friend? Part 1

One of the most frequent questions I’m asked when people learn about how I wrote The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts in response to the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon is, “Do you think ALL fantasy is wrong?” 

The answer is “Absolutely, positively NO!”
I do NOT think that ALL fantasy is wrong!  In fact, I think God designed the human brain in such a way that fantasy can actually be God’s gift to us for a wide variety of reasons!
In Christian circles, we may hear a little about how fantasy is our foe, but we don’t often hear about how fantasy can be our friend!  Let’s fix that, shall we?
I know… talking about this can seem a little uncomfortable, or even scary!  Just the word itself —fantasy— can illicit all kinds of anxiety among Christians. In fact, I’d say that fantasy seems to be an even more taboo word than sex!
But before we throw the baby out with the bathwater and assume that all fantasy is unhealthy, dangerous, and therefore entirely off limits, let’s consider in this 
5-part blog series how fantasy can actually be our friend…
Fantasy can help numb us to unbearable pain.
 
When my daughter was a brand-new driver, she hit a tree and did a face-plant into her windshield, requiring twelve stitches to keep her ear attached to her head. As she lay trembling on the emergency room table wide-eyed with fright, I was desperate to help her cope with the pain and trauma of it all. I resorted to fantasy. “Erin, let’s pretend we’re going on a trip to anywhere in the world you want to go! Where to? Australia? Okay! Now tell me who do you want to take with you? Our friends Terrica and Sharon? Absolutely! Who else? Where will you want to take them once we arrive? What will we do there?” The fantasy went on for twenty minutes — long enough for the doctor to finish his sewing project. Through this experience, I was reminded of how our imagination is a gift from God — one that can distract us from great pain when necessary.
To be continued…
Excerpted from The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2012.  All Rights Reserved. Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, TN. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.  
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Filed Under: Fantasy Fallacy

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