Most of us are well aware of the procreation aspect.  Those beautiful babies women give birth to?  They are created through the act of sex.  Hopefully that’s no newsflash to you, so we won’t spend much time on this aspect.  The upside of using sex for procreation is that we are able to produce sweet little bundles of joy that closely resemble two unique gene pools and are a constant reminder of our blissful (or once blissful) marital union.  Children give us great cause for celebration, and more Kodak moments than we could ever completely capture in the thickest of Creative Memories scrapbooks.  The downside, however, is that it only takes one sexual encounter to produce a child.  If procreation is the only reason a wife engages in sex, she’s going to have one sex-starved relationship.

Which leads us to the next purpose of sexual intimacy – to provide pleasure.  Hopefully you’ve experienced it – that erotic feeling of abandoning all our inhibitions and just going with the sexual flow.  That supernatural, euphoric feeling of slowly ascending to the highest peak of physical pleasure.  That wave of complete satisfaction that suddenly washes over you – a wave that is absolutely impossible to verbalize, regardless of how creative your vocabulary may be.  And the overwhelming joy of witnessing your partner’s eyes roll back in his head and the guttural sounds emitting from his mouth, indicating that he’s going over the top, and it’s you who is ushering him there.  Of all the physical pleasures known to man and woman, none compare with sexual arousal and climax.

However, I believe there is something that sexual intimacy can provide which is even more precious and coveted by women than pretty babies and great orgasms.  What might that be?  Listen as these women try to explain their deepest desire…

•  “My husband wants to look at my body, but what I really want him to see is me.  Behind these big breasts is a heart yearning for a spiritual connection.”
• “I don’t care about intercourse.  I care about intimacy.  If I had to choose between a roll in the sheets or a stroll in the park, I’d pick the park every time.”
• “I don’t want an all-night sexual marathon, just one hour of his attention and affection.”

I’m tempted to send these comments to spammers that send out stupid emails like, Take Viagra – she’ll love you for it!…  Ejaculate like a porn star!…  Add three inches overnight!… Fill her mouth completely… Doesn’t anyone get it?  A woman isn’t as interested in having her tonsils tickled as having her soul touched.  Her innermost need is for an emotional and spiritual bond with another human being – a need called “pair-bonding,” which is actually the third purpose of sexuality.  Every healthy woman longs to feel intimately connected — mind, body, heart, and soul — with her mate.

But for all those women who want the sexual and emotional connection instead of the physical connection, I have a revolutionary newsflash:  There is scientific evidence that proves you’d be spinning your wheels to try to get one without the other.

Excerpted from The Sexually Confident Wife: Connecting with Your Husband Mind*Body*Heart*Spirit by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2008.  All Rights Reserved. Published by Random House Inc, New York, NY. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.