Shannon’s Blog

10. Interpreting sexual fantasies isn’t going to solve any of the world’s problems.    False. Consider for a moment some of the biggest relational problems facing society today.  Marriages that don’t make it.  Families that fall apart.  Children who are caught in the middle and grow up with all kinds of…

9. Anxiety, confusion, or fear over sexual fantasies is not a common issue.  False. Research shows that 84 percent of men and 67 percent of women have sexual fantasies, so I think it’s safe to say that on average, approximately three out of four people have them.[i]  While I’ve not…

8.  Sexual fantasy is really just the brain’s way of driving us to do evil things.  False. I have a dear friend and mentor, Jarratt Major, who’s an 80-year old licensed marriage and family therapist and a retired minister.  I’ve been meeting monthly with him and two other professional counselors…

7. Sexual fantasies are better left unspoken and unexplored.  False. Granted, certain individuals have tried to openly share some of their most troubling sexual fantasies only to face harsh consequences, such as: Olivia, who was asked to resign her position as a Sunday school teacher when she confessed to her…

6. Sexual fantasies provide a road map to the sexual fulfillment we crave.  False. It’s easy to assume that fantasies must be a roadmap to future fulfillment.  If ________ is what I think about, dream about, fantasize about – well, it must be what I want!  If it feels that…

5. Christians control their sexual thoughts and actions better than others.  False.  While the answer to this question probably should be true in light of the amazing power we have available to us to resist temptation, I think we have to admit that the answer is all-too-often false.  Christians struggle…

4. Sexual fantasy and lust are the same thing.  False. Now that we’ve established a definition for sexual fantasy, let’s talk about lust.  Any time the word lust is mentioned in the Bible, it’s in reference to craving something that doesn’t belong to the person doing the lusting, such as…

3.  All fantasy is inappropriate, unhealthy, and sinful.  False. From the time we’re small children, we’re encouraged by our parents and by society to fantasize.  “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is one of the most common questions asked a growing kid.  How else are they…

2.  The church does an adequate job of teaching Christians how to appropriately assess and discuss the topic of sexual fantasy.  False. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard a single sermon on the roles, the rules, the benefits, or the boundaries of sexual fantasy.  Perhaps the reason…

1.    The Sexual Revolution of the past 40+ years is all about sex.  False.  The Sexual Revolution actually isn’t about sex at all.  It’s about broken people using other people, desperately trying to medicate their own emotional pain through sexual acts.  It’s about loneliness… isolation… rejection… insecurities… co-dependency… selfishness. God’s…

It’s day 15 of my 60-day window to complete the first draft of The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts, and I’m thrilled to report that I’m approximately 1/4th to 1/3rd complete — mostly thanks to the collaborative efforts of my research team and “junior editors” who…

Hello Dear Readers! Consider this the start of a blog series about my progress on the NEW book I’m currently writing called: The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts To learn more about the project, and why I’m so enthused about it, watch this 7-minute video clip:…

Enjoy another blog from the continued series by Elle Emmerson! -Shannon ——————————– I cried the first time I watched the movie, A Beautiful Mind.  I couldn’t believe how much the life of a man living with schizophrenia, and the life of the wife struggling to help him, mirrored the life…

Enjoy another blog from the continued series by Elle Emmerson! -Shannon ——————————– I washed my husband’s feet for the first time on our wedding night. As he sat on the edge of the bed, I lovingly washed and dried his feet, and declared my faithfulness to him for all the…

I will be posting a 3 part series by Elle Emmerson! Enjoy! -Shannon ——————————– The summers of my youth were spent vacationing on a lake. I was 16, carefree, and in love. One night, my boyfriend and I escaped for a private canoe ride. We didn’t tell our parents, didn’t…

Hooking Up vs. Holding Out: Helping Singles Find a Healthy Sexual Balance (Part 7 of 7) Drawing Boundary Lines It’s important for a couple to be honest with one another about their sexual history (particularly a history that involves sexual abuse, addictions, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancies, and/or abortions).  However, certain…