Embrace Pleasure (3 of 3)

In the past couple of Hot Tips we’ve been talking about both male and female pleasure points. Obviously every person is different when it comes to their hot spots – where they like to be touched, and how they like to be touched.

The way to discover what floats your spouse’s sexual boat the most isn’t to read a book or manual or even surf the internet. The absolute best, most sure-fire way to zero-in on that magical spot or movement is to simply ask your spouse, since their opinion is really the only one that counts. Consider asking/answering the following fill-in-the-blank questions with one another:

* When you touch me here (______________) it drives me wild.

* When you do this (_______________) I can’t help but get sexually aroused.

* I love it when you let me _______________. It makes me feel ___________.

Another idea is to take your spouse’s hand in yours, and give them a “guided tour” of your own body, focusing attention on the spots that crave the most attention. Yet another idea is to simply give your spouse a “peep show” of what you like best, performing it on yourself for their visual entertainment.

Now if that last part made you blush, let me give a quick disclaimer here. I know some couples have a lot of hang-ups about masturbation and choose not to engage in it at all, and I completely understand if that’s how you feel. But what I’m encouraging you to do isn’t to separate yourself from your spouse and selfishly take matters into your own hands. There’s a big difference between solo masturbation and self-stimulation in the presence of your spouse. In fact, most couples report that watching their spouse turn themselves on is quite the erotic experience, so don’t knock it until you try it!

The bottom line is that we simply need to slow down and carve out some special time together — in bed, on the couch, in the bathtub or shower, on a weekend getaway – for the sole purpose of the sexual exploration of each other’s bodies. Think of yourself as Christopher Columbus, charting new territory and making note of every interesting discovery you come upon!