Rediscover the Fun of Foreplay

I hear many couples bemoaning the fact that things just aren’t as “hot” between them since they got married. They reminisce about their season of dating and how the urge to have sex with each other felt absolutely, positively overwhelming at times. Yet after the vows are exchanged, their sex life becomes rather boring and routine. They wonder, “Where has the spark gone? And can we ignite it once again?”

First, we have to accept the fact that marital relationships naturally go through peaks and valleys, ups and downs, and sexual highs and lows. However, when we experience those sexual “lows,” we don’t have to stay there. We CAN return to a season of marital and sexual bliss!

I had a hysterectomy a few years ago, and had been warned by my doctor, “NO sexual activity for a minimum of six weeks!” So I braced myself for a L-O-N-G dry spell.

But what we noticed is that because we knew we couldn’t have intercourse, we focused a lot more attention on all of the other things that we COULD do without crossing that line.

We kissed. A lot. Long, sweet, slow kisses. And it really got our juices flowing. Kind of like when we were dating, and would find ourselves SO aroused by one another!

And we caressed and touched a lot more. We weren’t in a mad rush to hurry up and go straight to intercourse. Because we knew we couldn’t. And this got our juices flowing all the more.

And we talked. A lot more than before. Mostly about how great it was going to be when we could have sex again. But I didn’t want to go back to sex as usual. I wanted us to take these valuable lessons into this next season. Great sex isn’t just about the penis going inside the vagina. It’s about the wet, wonderful kisses… the soft, gentle caresses… the sweet, intimate words exchanged.

So to find that sexual “high gear” once again, perhaps you should kick things down into “low gear” for a while – at least until your sexual motor has a chance to really get revving once again!  S-L-O-W down, and rediscover the FUN of foreplay!

Warmly,