Author and Advocate for Healthy Sexuality and Spirituality


How Is Fantasy A Friend? Part 1

One of the most frequent questions I’m asked when people learn about how I wrote The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts in response to the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon is, “Do you think ALL fantasy is wrong?” 

The answer is “Absolutely, positively NO!”
I do NOT think that ALL fantasy is wrong!  In fact, I think God designed the human brain in such a way that fantasy can actually be God’s gift to us for a wide variety of reasons!
In Christian circles, we may hear a little about how fantasy is our foe, but we don’t often hear about how fantasy can be our friend!  Let’s fix that, shall we?
I know… talking about this can seem a little uncomfortable, or even scary!  Just the word itself —fantasy— can illicit all kinds of anxiety among Christians. In fact, I’d say that fantasy seems to be an even more taboo word than sex!
But before we throw the baby out with the bathwater and assume that all fantasy is unhealthy, dangerous, and therefore entirely off limits, let’s consider in this 
5-part blog series how fantasy can actually be our friend…
Fantasy can help numb us to unbearable pain.
When my daughter was a brand-new driver, she hit a tree and did a face-plant into her windshield, requiring twelve stitches to keep her ear attached to her head. As she lay trembling on the emergency room table wide-eyed with fright, I was desperate to help her cope with the pain and trauma of it all. I resorted to fantasy. “Erin, let’s pretend we’re going on a trip to anywhere in the world you want to go! Where to? Australia? Okay! Now tell me who do you want to take with you? Our friends Terrica and Sharon? Absolutely! Who else? Where will you want to take them once we arrive? What will we do there?” The fantasy went on for twenty minutes — long enough for the doctor to finish his sewing project. Through this experience, I was reminded of how our imagination is a gift from God — one that can distract us from great pain when necessary.
To be continued…
Excerpted from The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2012.  All Rights Reserved. Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, TN. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.  

Hot Tips For Sexually Confident Wives #31

Little Marshmallows Enhance Your Love Making

At the risk of sounding grossly graphic, has this ever happened to you?

You enjoy a romantic dinner with your husband… take a relaxing bubble bath… put on something pretty… slip between the sheets for a little snuggle that just might lead to a whole lot more… and as you reach across the bed to plant a kiss on his lips, it happens. Those last few bites of dinner make their way up through your esophagus and lodge in your throat, giving you that “little vomit” sensation that kills a passionate kiss in seconds flat.

If acid reflux is an issue for you whenever you get horizontal with your husband, I heard a trick recently that might help you get your mojo back!

Before heading off to bed, swallow 5 little marshmallows. It basically creates a “sponge” inside your esophagus, absorbing any stomach acid before it refluxes right up into your romantic interludes.

It may sound silly, but it works! Keep a small bag of mini-marshmallows in your bedside nightstand, and I’ll bet your husband will give you brownie-points for practicality!

Wishing you a sweet sex life,


Miss Part of the Series?

by Shannon Ethridge. Copyright 2008.  All Rights Reserved. Published by Random House Inc, New York, NY. Used by Permission. Not to be copied without Publisher’s prior written approval.