Experiencing The Big “Oh!”- Part 1
WARNING: Today’s post is particularly graphic, so use discretion before you go any further. I’d give it an “NC-17” rating. Please keep in mind that all of these body parts, activities, and responses are GOD’s creation for His people to enjoy freely within marriage — with no guilt, shame, or inhibition!
From the time we are toddlers, we’re taught, “This is your nose; it is for experiencing smells. This is your tongue; it is for experiencing tastes. These are your eyes; they are for experiencing sights.” But rarely is a female ever told, “This is your clitoris and vagina; it’s for experiencing orgasm.” Can’t envision your mama ever teaching you that? Nor can I. Most of us had to figure it out on our own.
…Did you know the female clitoris has 8,000 nerve fibers? That’s almost twice as many as the male penis! In fact, the clitoris has the highest concentration of nerve fibers in the entire body. What purpose do all of these nerve fibers serve? They exist for no other biological reason other than to provide women tremendous sexual pleasure!1
…The fantastic female body is actually made to experience far more pleasure than most of us ever realize. But with some patience, perseverance, and practice, you can experience blissful orgasms – both clitoral and G-spot orgasms (named after Ernest Grafenberg, who called the public’s attention to this part of the female anatomy in the 1950s).
The G-Spot actually refers to the paraurethral glands and nerves, which are located between the urethra and vaginal canal. Here’s a few things you should be aware of when it comes to G-Spot orgasms:
* To locate your G-spot, lie on your back. Invite your husband to lie close to you on his side, with one arm cradling your shoulders and one hand between your legs (or however feels comfortable, but physical and emotional closeness are key). Have him insert his middle finger into your vaginal canal with his palm facing the ceiling. Once you are fully relaxed, he should bend his middle finger slightly, forming a soft upward “hook” so that the pad of his finger places slight pressure on the anterior portion of your vaginal canal. As he continues to rub you in this way for some time, your vaginal muscles will eventually begin to bear down, almost pushing his fingers out, but tell him to stay put and keep going until you tell him otherwise.
* Eventually, a significant amount of fluid will accompany the vaginal contractions, so it is wise to have a layer of protection between you and your sheets or else you’ll be sleeping in the wet spot all night, and a towel may not be sufficient. I suggest a small, waterproof crib pad that can easily be thrown in the laundry, or cut a two-foot square piece from an old shower curtain liner or plastic sheet and place that underneath a towel on your bed.
* The expulsion of such a significant amount of fluid may create a concern that you are wetting the bed. Although the sensation might initially feel similar to urinating, don’t worry. The fluid that flows out does not smell or stain like urine. It is clear and odorless, and most men claim that it is tasteless or even slightly sweet to the taste. As a confidence booster, you might empty your bladder just prior to this sexual activity so that when you are relaxed and bearing down, you aren’t distracted with concerns about urinating at all.
* Just because you begin to experience this type of orgasm doesn’t mean you have to stop! Although multiple orgasms are far more difficult for men, women have the luxury of a much shorter refractory period, which means she can be an orgasmic Energizer Bunny and keep going and going if she wants to. A woman’s body is capable of experiencing these intense waves of pleasure over and over for several minutes (some report up to half an hour or more). Usually, it’s an overwhelming desire for intercourse with her husband that brings these orgasmic waves to an end, as she demands he replaces his fingers with his penis. Some women may even continue experiencing G-spot orgasms during intercourse. You may also find that experiencing a clitoral orgasm through manual or oral stimulation following a G-spot orgasm multiplies the pleasure factor exponentially!
* Don’t get disappointed or down on yourself if you fail to reach this lofty peak every single time you make love. It’s not about the quantity of orgasms you experience, but rather, the quality of the sexual relationship you and your husband share together.
Perhaps you are thinking that experiencing multiple orgasms would make you a sexually selfish person, or an orgasm hog, or some sort of wild woman that you’ve never aspired to become. Get over that fear. Most men would give their right arm for their wives to be this sexually responsive. And a woman who experiences every ounce of the pleasure God designed her body to experience simply brings glory to her Creator!
1) Tina S. Miracle, Andrew W. Miracle, and Roy F. Baumeister, Human Sexuality: Meeting Your Basic Needs (Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2003), 33.