Okay, so with a title like that I’m sure your mind is wandering to all kinds of twisted places! Let me explain how my Events Manager, Terrica, and I recently met a “swinging pastor” – and how he gave us the most hilarious and priceless moment of my entire 20-year speaking career!

We were recently leading a women’s conference, and the anonymous question was submitted (as it always is), “What’s OKAY in the marriage bed?” I launched into my schpeel about how some uptight Christians might respond to that question, “The missionary position… once a week… lights off!” And where is THAT located in Scripture?

Actually, do you know where the term “missionary position” gets its name? Missionaries who lived among tribal communities saw that they were engaging in sexual acts in all kinds of unusual positions, and they tried to tell them that it was “unnatural and ungodly.” And how did the tribal people respond? They laughed, and called what they were trying to teach as the only acceptable way the “missionary position.” True story.

Not that there’s anything wrong with the missionary position if it floats your boat, but I think God had something far more interesting in mind when he created men and women. Some say, “Humans are the only species created by God that CAN have sex face to face, so that’s obviously the way He intended it.” Oh, yeah? I hate to burst anyone’s evolutionary bubble, but guess what? Armadillos and humpback whales have sex face to face.

I agree with my friend Wil, who so eloquently explains, “Human beings are the only species that can have sex UPSIDE DOWN in a SWING, so maybe THAT is what God intended!” And yes, I explained all of that from the platform… into the microphone… in broad daylight in a church in northern Alberta, Canada. Interestingly enough, the church’s gray-headed, sweet-spirited pastor was in the room, and Terrica told me afterwards how he threw his head back and laughed hysterically when I said that!

So the next morning we’re in this same church for their worship service, and this pastor takes the stage after the band wraps up the last song. He welcomes everyone, then asks the congregation, “Has your spouse ever given you a big eye roll in response to a suggestion you make? For example, just this morning I walked into our bedroom, looked at the ceiling, and said, ‘Honey, this spot up here on the ceiling… it would be PERFECT for a SWING!”

I swallowed my gum! I looked at Terrica wide-eyed and asked, “Did he really just say that?” All of the women in the audience who’d attended the conference wondered the same thing – Did he REALLY just say that??? – and they began hooting and hollering and trying their best to explain to their oblivious husbands what the heck he meant by that! It took a long time for all of us to regain our composure enough to baptize the 10 women who came forward that Sunday morning (which was yet another ministry highlight of my life!)

On the way home I asked our hosts, “Would you like to pull a prank on the pastor tonight?” We were leading a “Sexually Confident Couple” seminar for husbands and wives that evening, and I suggested I’d like to make a special presentation to the pastor for allowing us to minister there. So we took a 2-foot board, drilled holes in each side, strung rope through, and made the pastor and his wife a SWING as a gag gift! But the really cool thing is that my accomplice tied the ends of the rope to a CANE with a curved hook at the top. We wrapped it in a large gift bag with tissue paper such that only the top of the cane was sticking out. So at the close of our Sexually Confident Couple seminar, I made the announcement that Terrica and I wanted to present the “shepherd” of this flock a special gift for his partnership in ministry. Both he and his wife came forward, thinking this was some sort of shepherd’s hook. But as they removed the tissue paper and pulled out the contraption, they recognized the device as their own personal (make-shift) SWING! Both of them turned as red as the Canadian flag, and we all bellowed until our sides ached! I didn’t have to remove my mascara that night after wiping so many tears of laughter from my eyes!

You might be thinking, “All that happened in a church?” Yeah. And I think God got a royal kick out of it too! And every time I pass a swing set, I’ll fondly remember this incredibly special group of people and the fun we all had with their “swinging pastor!”

(Excepted from Shannon’s blog – see more or subscribe to receive our blog posts by going to www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog)

Aspiring Writers & Speakers:

I recently had the great privilege of being interviewed by long-time friend and fellow Life Coach Brenda Bertrand for her Blog Talk Radio show. We discussed how to discern your own call to a writing or speaking ministry, and how to bring those dreams to life, exploring some of the details about how our B.L.A.S.T. mentorship program works. Aspiring writers and speakers – you can listen in on that interview by going to www.brendabertrand.com/audios

BUILDING LEADERS, AUTHORS, SPEAKERS & TEACHERS

Mark Your Calendars - Shannon Is Coming To...