December Greetings From
Shannon Ethridge Ministries!
Shannon’s Marriage Sabbatical Commercial...
For those who’ve asked how our 3-day marriage sabbatical went this past weekend (and for those longing to have special time with their mates but think they can’t afford to), allow me to share my “commercial” with you...
One downtown Dallas apartment that needed house-sitting while a friend was out of town, along with enough Thanksgiving leftovers to satisfy our appetites for three days: ZERO DOLLARS
One bargain-bin Christian bookstore find entitled Men are Clams, Woman are Crowbars: FIVE DOLLARS
One Blockbuster video rental of the movie Fireproof: THREE DOLLARS
Three days of gut-level honesty, humbling ourselves and asking forgiveness, and of course, great make-up sex: PRICELESS
For those of you who think that you can’t afford to invest in a marriage sabbatical of your own, THINK AGAIN! You can’t afford NOT to! If we did it for less than $10, so can you.
Our Christmas wish is for you to be able to carve out time to invest in the most important relationship of your life – your marriage!
CHRISTMAS SAVINGS! FREE SHIPPING!
As our Christmas gift to you, we’re offering FREE STANDARD SHIPPING on any order placed this month through
www.shannonethridge.com. Just enter customer code 1225 on the shopping cart page. (Not applicable to shipments outside the U.S. Offer expires December 31, 2009.)
P.S. If you’d like your book autographed to someone special, use the “Comments” box to enter how you’d like Shannon to personalize the autograph for each book ordered.
Give the Gift of...
BUILDING LEADERS, AUTHORS, SPEAKERS & TEACHERS
Do you know someone special who aspires to be a writer or speaker, but isn’t sure where to start? Or someone who’s already writing and speaking, but longs to reach more people with the message God has entrusted to them? Show that person how much you believe in them by sending a B.L.A.S.T. Gift Certificate!
B.L.A.S.T. is the new mentorship program that Shannon started this past fall, but with a full class of over 40 students worldwide, we’ve decided to continue offering an online version of the class every 6 months (beginning each March and September). To read more about the program, click here for an informational brochure.
To request a B.L.A.S.T. Gift Certificate for any amount from $50 up to the full 12-month registration fee of $1,500, send an email to
firstname.lastname@example.org and include the following:
- Giver’s Name & email address
- Recipient’s Name & email address
- Dollar Amount of Gift
- A Personal Note (up to 200 words) to include on the certificate
You will not be charged for the gift certificate until the person actually applies for the program and is accepted, so you’ve got nothing to lose!
Where did this idea come from? There’s a few in our current B.L.A.S.T. class whose spouse, parent, or friend offered to pay part (or all) of their registration fee, and of course they were deeply touched by the gesture! What a perfect way to say to a loved one, “I believe in you!”
From Shannon’s Blog:
Getting Past “Her Past”
“Don” writes via email:
Hi Shannon! Thank you for your site. My wife and I just celebrated our first wedding anniversary! Our sex life has been good...except in one area. I was a virgin when we married. My wife was not, and I knew this. It did not bother me...until after we said "I do." I began worrying "am I good enough to make her forget?...will she compare me?...will she have flashbacks when we are making love?...will I meet her expectations?"
It didn't help that one day she said, "You've never asked me 'how many?'" She followed up with a number that didn't help. It slowly festered, to the point where I began asking questions on my own...and...I wish I never did! It only made my fears worse, and even had her remembering things she’d tried to forget!
My question: What do I do when the thoughts of her former sex partners come lofting into my mind?! The advice so far has been: stop playing tug-o-war with the devil...you can't win...drop the rope (memories of her lovers). Do you have any extra encouragement/advice???
Uh huh, I do. Think about human nature. When we focus on what we SHOULDN’T or CAN’T or WON’T ALLOW ourselves to do, guess what we naturally do? We’re all the more tempted to do that very thing. Instead, focus on what you CAN or WILL CHOOSE to do. There is power in remaining positive. CHOOSE to win your wife’s trust, and you’ll win her heart. CHOOSE to become her dream lover (and this is far more about tenderness than technique), and I guarantee that all others will PALE in comparison.
Want to know HOW to make those kinds of healing choices? Read on...
My husband and I came into marriage 20 years ago with a similar dynamic. He walked into my world a 26-year old virgin. Between the ages of 15 and 20, I’d had more partners than any woman cares to admit. I forewarned Greg about “what kind of woman” he was interested in before we got engaged. He seemed undaunted. Even when I approached him after two years of marriage crying, “There’s no way you could possibly love me if you knew how many men there have been!”
“I don’t need to know how many, Shannon. But if you need to tell me, I’m willing to listen,” was his response. I spent a few days combing my memories and creating a long list. I approached him with a total number, braced for a look of disgust and a renunciation of his wedding vows. I vocalized the number, literally choking on the sound of it emitting from my mouth, so broken with shame and self-loathing.
“Even if you told me a number 100 times that, I’m still not going anywhere,” Greg replied. “Besides, I know that your past isn’t about you & me... it’s about you & your dad.” Although I didn’t understand that at the time, Greg was absolutely right. An emotionally distant father left a hole in my heart that I went looking for love to fill as a na´ve teenager. Sadly, as a result, Greg wasn’t the first man I ever slept with, but I do intend him to be the last. And isn’t that what matters most?
So for 20 years, my husband has never even once thrown that number, or my inappropriate past, up in my face. Perhaps it’s bothered him at times, I don’t know. I can’t imagine how it couldn’t. But he’s never let me know it, and his commitment to me hasn’t wavered or waffled. If he’s had sexual insecurities as a result of my past, he’s dealt with them on his own, which has certainly helped me deal with my own. And as my sexual confidence quotient has risen, I think Greg’s sexual confidence has risen as well. It’s definitely been a win-win.
So my advice, Don, is to buck up and be the man she needs you to be. Be “Jesus with skin on” to her. Let your life and love paint her a vivid picture of God’s unconditional love and mercy. Teach her that her self-worth is not based on her sexual scorecard, but on who she is in Christ. And most of all, don’t take her sexual mistakes personally. It was most likely never about you. So be a sexually confident husband, and you’ll inspire her to be a sexually confident wife.
P.S. I’d also encourage both you and your wife to read Part 2 in The Sexually Confident Wife called “Confronting Ghosts from the Past” – I think it will bring a lot more healing in your marriage bed!
To view the blog go to: www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog or to subscribe to the RSS feed click here.
Mark Your Calendars - Shannon Is Coming To...
Ft. Worth, TX - December 6, 2009
Join Shannon at Celebration Fellowship where she’ll be speaking at a student/parent conference on sexual purity. Contact Bryan Duncan for more information at email@example.com.
St. Louis, MO - January 4 - 7, 2010
Shannon will be speaking at the National Conference on Youth Ministries. More info to come.
Tyler , TX - January 15 - 16, 2010
Shannon will be speaking to teens at Pine Cove Christian Camps on the topic of Every Young Man’s/Woman’s Battle, hosted by North Richland Hills Baptist Church. Email Steve Pulley at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada - January 30, 2010
Join Shannon at Break Forth Canada, the largest equipping and renewing conference in North America! For more info check out www.breakforthcanada.com or contact Christine at email@example.com.
La Mirada, CA - February 6 - 10, 2010
Shannon will be speaking at BIOLA University. For more info contact Dennis Gaines at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Lindale, TX - February 23, 2010
Shannon is speaking to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) at CCF Lindale. For more information please contact Sherry at email@example.com.
Online - February 25, 2010
Shannon will be doing a LIVE online “sex & marriage” Q&A session at 4:00pm CST though WaterBrook Press' Livestream Broadcasts. Stay tuned for more detailed info. To submit questions for Shannon to answer please email them to Skyla at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tyler, TX - March 2, 2010
Join Shannon as she speaks to the Celebrate Recovery Group at Friendly Baptist Church! For more info please contact Don Wells at email@example.com.
Tyler, TX - March 8, 2010
Join Shannon as she speaks to the Celebrate Recovery Group at Green Acres Baptist Church! For more info please contact Marty at MartyK64@aol.com.
Edson, Alberta, Canada - March 19 - 20, 2010
Shannon is speaking at Bethel Pentecostal Church. For more info please contact Cheryle at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tyler, TX - April 7, 2010
Shannon speaks to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) at Grace Community Church. Contact Jennifer Brown at email@example.com for more information.
Colorado Springs, CO - April 15 - 18, 2010
Shannon will be speaking alongside Fred Stoeker at Maximizing Intimacy: A Sex & Oneness Retreat at the Glen Eyrie Retreat Center. For more info please contact Melissa Schuerer at Melissa.Schuerer@navigators.org.
El Paso, TX - April 24, 2010
Participate in the Women’s “Footprints” Conference at Vino Nuevo El Paso, where Shannon will be speaking on Every Woman’s Battle, Every Woman’s Marriage, and Women in Leadership. For more information, contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada - May 14 - 15, 2010
Join Shannon at the Girls’ Heart Point “Break Thru” conference. Watch for more details to come at www.girlsheartpoint.ca.
Tyler, TX - July 30, 2010
"Girl’s Night In" at Grace Community Church in Tyler, TX. For more info contact Crystal Smoker at email@example.com.
It's A God Thing...
We love hearing from you about what God is doing in your life as you read! Listen to these cool testimonies from all over the globe, and praise God with us…
I read Every Woman’s Battle three years ago, loved it, and currently am facilitating it in our Women's Connections at our church. I had one young woman whose marriage was desperately on the rocks. People at work had told her to "just divorce him." She has been a great student and doing the things you suggest. They are coming along! It has been such a joy to see God at work in her life and also his. Appreciating your mate is the name of the game. I just wanted you to know how great I think your book is. I bought a copy for my daughter (twice divorced and still learning) and my daughter-in-law went out and bought a copy after I talked about it.
I am spreading the word! Thanks!
I have been listening to your Sexually Confident Wife CDs and oh, my goodness! Thank you so much! I want all my friends to listen to these as well as my hubby! They are so great. I am 41 and have never learned so much, so candidly and lovingly, about sex. I still have many questions about how it all fits together (no pun intended) with the Lord and intimacy and love. Ironically, we are going through the Bible in a year and this is the week on Song of Solomon. Hmmm. I think God is trying to teach me a few things.
Thank you for being so candid about your life too. I can relate to so many of your experiences!
Shannon's response: Thanks so much for taking the time to email your incredibly kind words of affirmation for this ministry, and know how much we appreciate you helping us spread the word about sexual integrity, sexual intimacy in marriage, and intimacy in our relationship with God! YOU are an answer to prayer!
Shannon's response: If I had a dime for every woman who said she can “identify” with my sexual and emotional struggles, I’d be a very rich woman! NO temptation seizes us but what is common (Corinthians 10:13), but God IS INDEED faithful to provide a way out, and to help us embrace the sexual relationship we were meant to enjoy! You go, girl!
If God’s doing something in your life, marriage, family, or ministry as a result of reading one of Shannon’s books, let us know so we can praise God with you!
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