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November Greetings From
Shannon Ethridge Ministries!
LOOK what's NEW for 2009!!!
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Weekly BLOGTALKRADIO podcasts to encourage you in your pursuit of sexual & emotional integrity and healthy sexual intimacy in marriage…
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A new WEB COMMUNITY so you can connect with other readers, share ideas, get inspiration, etc…
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B.L.A.S.T. (Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers & Teachers) -- A new 1-year monthly mentorship program for aspiring writers & speakers (starting in September 2009)…
Stay tuned to these monthly e-newsletters for more information on all of these exciting additions!
Ask Shannon: “How Do I Get Over His Past?”
“The other day my husband and I somehow got to talking about the past (which usually never bears any fruit anyway). He revealed something that I was totally devastated to find out about. Coming from a broken home and at times actually seeing his stepmother and father have sex when he was a little kid (they would do it in front of the children), he tragically went on to have sex with his own first cousin… for years, between the ages of 9 and 13. I by no means grew up in a perfect family, and I have made mistakes of my own, including sexual sin, but this is something that I was really shocked by. On a more positive note, my husband is a believer and feels he has been forgiven by God and has forgiven himself as well. But how can I move past the shock and devastation myself?” -Anonymous
Shannon responds:
This takes “kissing cousins” to a whole new level, doesn’t it? I can completely understand how this revelation would be shocking, disheartening, and incredibly difficult for you to rebound from. Hearing how indiscriminate his parents were about their sexual relationship certainly explains how this inappropriate behavior began, and it breaks my heart to think of a young, impressionable boy ignorantly walking down this road to sexually abuse his own cousin because of the “familiarity” of it all. I can only imagine the guilt and regret your husband (and his cousin) has felt since that time. But if there’s one thing about this situation that reveals his true heart, it’s that he chose to stop engaging in such acts at 13 years old. I’m not trying to justify his behavior, but 13 is about the age when hormones actually kick in and young men make conscious decisions to use a girl to satisfy their lust. For your husband, however, 13 was an age of accountability – a season when he realized that what they were doing was wrong, and he stopped on his own accord. Let’s begin by giving him that much credit.
I do think it would be very healing for you to go through counseling together (call 1-800-NEW-LIFE for a referral to a Christian counselor in your area), but the thing about men is that they don’t always experience the need to “talk about their feelings” the way women do, so I recommend you approach this very tenderly with something along the lines of, “I’m so proud of you for stopping this behavior as soon as you were old enough to realize how wrong it was, but you’ve had years to process this. I’m going to need time to process it as well, and I think I could process it a lot faster and in a healthier way with the help of a counselor. Would you be willing to go with me and usher me through a season of healing over this shocking revelation so that it doesn’t affect our relationship or our sex life any longer than it has to?”
I pray he will hear your heart loud and clear, and that he’ll be as sensitive to your needs as you’re obviously trying to be to his. Also, you might find some of the principles helpful in Fred & Brenda Stoeker’s book
Every Heart Restored: A Wife’s Guide to Healing in the Wake of Her Husband’s Sexual Sin (available at
www.shannonethridge.com). Although this sexual sin happened long before you came into the picture, the resulting emotions are most likely somewhat similar, and it would be good to learn how to most effectively cope with those feelings.
Finally, I encourage you not to ask unnecessary questions such as “How many times… where… how… etc.” Such information will serve only to create new trauma in your mind, and you don’t need that. Accept the fact that he was a sexually abused child (what his parents did was sexual abuse, even if he wasn’t directly involved), and acted out sexually as a result. But praise God that he grew up to be a man of sexual integrity and a husband who has entrusted his wife with his darkest childhood secret. Help him overcome his shame, and show him what Jesus with skin on really looks like, girlfriend! I encourage you to meditate on Ephesians 5:31-32, and live it out!
P.S. If you or someone you love has been the victim of childhood sexual abuse, I encourage you to pick up a copy of The Sexually Confident Wife and read chapter 4 entitled, “Healing the Scars of Sexual Abuse.”
Giving THANKS for Marriages Impacted!
Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite time of year, and we have SO MUCH to be thankful for, particularly all of the help we’ve had spreading the word about The Sexually Confident Wife! Within the first few days of its September 23rd release, it rose as high as #35 on
amazon.com and #19 on
barnesandnoble.com, which tells us of the “felt need” for this message among married couples. So…
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To national media outlets such as
MSNBC’s Today Show,
Moody Broadcast Network, and
CBN.com, THANK YOU for helping us spread the word!
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To newspapers such as The San Francisco Chronicle and The Dallas Morning News, THANK YOU!
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To local radio and television stations in cities like Atlanta, Phoenix, Mobile, Tyler, and Colorado Springs, THANK YOU!
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To bloggers all over the world who’ve posted reviews about the book, THANK YOU!
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And to those who’ve told friends or family about the book simply by word-of-mouth, THANK YOU!
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As a result of all of our collective marketing efforts, here’s just a sample of the impact that has been made on women’s lives (as posted on
www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com):
Thank you so much for writing this book as it was AWESOME. Wish someone would have wrote it 26 years ago when I got married instead of waiting until my marriage almost ended. Took your advice handed the book down to my adult daughter so she can become a Sexually Confident Wife.
-Sheila C.
Thank you for writing such an amazing book. My husband bought it for me, and I just couldn't put it down. I was hoping & praying that someone would write a book like this. My mother, sister, aunt, and best friend are always coming to me for advice on this & that. Now I know just the thing to get them all for Christmas. -Angela
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Speaking of Christmas…
Looking for the perfect personalized gift this Christmas? Consider giving the gift of wisdom and inspiration to yourself or someone you love! Order any
books from the Loving Jesus Without Limits series or the
Every Woman’s Battle series at
www.shannonethridge.com, and Shannon will autograph it however and to whomever you specify in the “comments” section of the electronic order form. Plus, take advantage of our FREE STANDARD SHIPPING offer this month only by entering customer code
"1225" on the shopping cart page. (Not applicable to shipments outside the U.S. Offer expires December 31, 2008.)
Check out our BLOG at
www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com for posts such as:
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The Sexually Savvy Husband?
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Refueling that Lovin’ Feeling
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The Best Cure for a Pre-Sex Headache
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Beware of these “Slime Lines”
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Boundaries in Friendships with Men
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And find out what made Shannon’s Blood Boil!
We’d love to hear your feedback to these posts, so be sure to respond to anything that strikes a chord with you!
Mark Your Calendars - Shannon Is Coming To...
Manvel, TX - November 15, 2008
Completely His Women's Event at New Hope Church.
For more info contact Wendi Cook wcook@newhopechurch.tv.
Colorado Springs, CO - January 5 - 6, 2009
.jpg) Shannon & Greg will be leading a "Taking Your Marriage Over the Top"
one-day conference on January 5th (open to the public) followed by
several sessions on January 6th for the National Conference on Youth
Ministries (NCYM) for the Churches of Christ (this event is open for
public registration). Contact
NCYM2009@gmail.com or
click here for more info.
Cozumel, Mexico - February 5 - 9, 2009
Sail with Shannon's family and other speakers on a Premier Christian
Cruise from Mobile, AL to Cozumel, Mexico! Save the date today!
 There are only 30 cabins remaining on the Girl's Get-A-Way
Cruise! So, now is the time for you to reserve your space
before this cruise is full!Want to know what is
different about the Girl's Get-A-Way Cruise? Well, here's a quick
run down...11 dynamic speakers, 7 top Christian artists, morning
devotions, comedians, meet & greets, a family-friendly
atmosphere, relaxation, beautiful ports of call, all the food you
can eat and some surprises along the way! Be sure to check out the
complete entertainment list HERE!
Get ready for a
girlfriend party at sea! Call the cruise office
today at 1-800-889-5265
to reserve your cabin! Plus! If you book by November 14th, you
can book with a minimal deposit and no interest monthly payments as
low as $82!* But, hurry! This offer is only available through
November 14th!
Lebanon, TN - February 12, 2009
Mother/Daughter Banquet at Friendship Christian School.
For more
info contact Brooke Akin at
brookeakin@friendshipchristian.org.
Tyler, TX - March 9, 2009
Shannon speaks at the Celebrate Recovery Support Group.
Contact Marty at
martyK64@aol.com for more information.
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada - October 16 - 18, 2009
Women's Conference at Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada.
For more info contact Lori Patrick lorip@abnwt.paoc.org.
Oxford Falls, Australia - October 29 - 31, 2009
Shannon will be speaking at Everywoman Conference.
For more info contact Tammy Edwards tammye@ccc.org.au or go to
http://www.everywomanconference.com/.
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Loving Jesus Without Limits Audio Books
Click here to order your copy |
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Do you prefer listening to books rather than reading them?
Do you have a long commute each
day, or are you planning a
long road trip?
If so, you'll be glad to know that the entire
Loving Jesus Without Limits series is now on audio book format!
You can now order the lead book or any of the four devotionals at
www.shannonethridge.com.
As our gift to you each month, we'll be sharing one reading from each devotional in every newsletter this year.
Click here to learn about Our Extravagant Lover from Day
30 of
Completely Loved. |
It's A God Thing...
We love hearing from you about what God is doing in your life as you read! Listen to these cool testimonies from all over the globe, and praise God with us…
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Marty
writes:
I read
Every Woman’s Battle three years ago at the time I was having an affair and on the verge of losing my husband and three children. (I also was leading a woman’s bible study at church!) Anyway, the book was my mirror and the reflection I saw scared me! Thank you for putting your experiences and those of other women in print. It saved my life and my marriage. I have handed out approximately 25 copies of the book, and now 3 ½ years later I am doing a study with my staff and friends from church with study guide and book! It’s is so neat how this book opens so many women’s eyes to their significance, and fills their void. In November we start the study
Every Woman’s Marriage. Again, thanks for putting your heart in this ministry. Your passion has touched many lives, and if I have anything to do with it we will touch many more! |
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Ann writes:
The valuable information in your new Sexually Confident Wife book is a long time in coming. Contrary to some, I believe this is the kind of information that will help stem the rising divorce rate among Christians. Sex is to be freely enjoyed in marriage, but often Christian women are too prudish or modest to fully give themselves to their husbands. Many religious people try to add to the Bible and put legalistic limits on this area of marriage and that is wrong, wrong, wrong. God gave this gift for our enjoyment and designed us to receive great pleasure from it. If the wife is frigid it can lead a man to be tempted outside of marriage. I say, “Hurray for you for having the courage to write this book!”
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Shannon's response: WOW! How great that the point of your greatest misery has now become the point of your greatest ministry! I can only imagine how blessed the women are who attend your studies, Marty! Way to take the lemons you once picked for yourself and turn them into lemonade to satisfy the thirst of other women in similar situations. I couldn’t be more proud of you! |
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Shannon's response: Ann, such words are wind beneath an author’s wings! I’ve gotten a little flack for being “The Sex Lady” through the years, but knowing that so many people like you really do “get it” (understand why healthy sex education is so important) makes it all worth while! Thank you for cheering this ministry on! |
If God’s doing something in your life, marriage, family, or ministry as a result of reading one of Shannon’s books, let us know so we can praise God with you!
How Can We Pray For You?
If you have a prayer request we can lift to God on your behalf, please let us know by
clicking here.
You can also
click here to post prayer requests or connect with other readers on the
Every Woman’s Battle Message Board.
We appreciate your prayers and encouraging support
for the staff and volunteers of Shannon Ethridge Ministries!
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