Issue 29 - APRIL 2008
Spring Greetings From
Shannon Ethridge Ministries!
Ask Shannon - What's A Parent To Do?
“I recently discovered that our 5 year-old daughter has been touched sexually by an 8 year-old boy. We addressed it with both children, and thought that would be the last of it. Last week, I caught my daughter with her hand in her panties. Now I’ve learned that she’s asked a 3 year-old boy to ‘tickle her tee-tee.’ I am clueless as to where to go. I have never heard of a 5 year-old behaving this way. We are a Christian family, and we have tried to raise her the best that we know how. Thank you for any help that you may be able to give.” – K.T.
Dear K.T. –
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this situation, as I can only imagine how much fear and anxiety it must produce in you knowing that your daughter has been introduced to such behaviors at such an early age. On the one hand, you don't want to overreact, but on the other hand, to under-react probably seems worse.
First of all, know that your daughter's behavior is relatively normal after having been introduced to such things by an older child. (I didn’t say “appropriate,” just “normal.”) However, this is not necessarily an indication of how she will make sexual choices later in life once she has better reasoning skills, and I’m sure you’re ready to fast-forward the development of those reasoning skills to avoid these situations from recurring. Not knowing her personally, I can't say whether she's mature enough to fully understand the kind of correction you are giving her thus far, but you may have to step up your efforts to educate her about healthy sexuality even at this early stage of her life so that she can more fully understand the difference between appropriate sexual touch (in marriage) and inappropriate sexual touch.
Believe it or not, five years old is NOT too early to begin having these talks. Dr. Dobson says that children should know about sex & where babies come from before they go to kindergarten and hear all kinds of cockamamie ideas, and I totally agree. I told my children about sex when they were 5, and it has set the stage for lots of healthy conversations since then. When those lines of communication are opened up to them (i.e. “You can ask me anything about sex, and you can use whatever words you need to use to ask it and you will NOT get in trouble!”), we establish ourselves early on as the "expert" on all things sexual. Then they'll hopefully come to us (rather than peers or the internet) when they have questions or experience temptations further down the road.
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I know this can seem like a daunting task, especially if our own parents never set a good example of such conversations. There are lots of good books out there that are very age appropriate for any child. I like the Concordia Publishing House series called "The New Learning About Sex" series which has books for each stage of a child's development, starting as young as 3-5 years of age. I also encourage you to begin reading Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle, which is designed for parents of 8-12 year old girls, but can give you a jump start on the educational process. In the first section just for parents, you’ll find an entire chapter on "Disheartening Discoveries" that coaches you through how to respond (without shock and horror) when you discover your child engaged in premature sexual behaviors—whether that involves innocent child sexual play (aka "playing doctor"), self-exploration, etc.
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Remember, those cute little babies we bring home from the hospital ARE sexual beings, and it is so unfortunate that we live in a world where sexual curiosities can be awakened far too early in life. But that doesn't mean there's nothing we can do as parents to help them better understand their sexuality and embrace a lifestyle of sexual integrity. I think the Preparing Your Daughter book will give you some great ideas about age-appropriate conversations you can already be having with her, even at 5 or 6 years old. Only you know her well enough to know when she's ready, so I'm going to let you make that judgment call, but I lift you in prayer for wisdom and insight into how best to help her through this challenging developmental season, along with all the other parents in the world facing similar dilemmas (and there are many). Keep in mind that we certainly don't want to scar children for life with sexual shame or poison them against all things sexual, just help them put sexual things into the proper perspective (sexual intimacy only within a marriage relationship). This requires healthy, open, honest dialogue on a level that she's able to comprehend. Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle will help you create those exact kinds of conversations, and I encourage you to recommend Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle to the parents of that 8 year old boy as well.
Loving Jesus Without Limits Audio Books
Do you prefer listening to books rather than reading them? Do you have a long commute each day, or are you planning a long road trip? If so, you’ll be glad to know that the entire Loving Jesus Without Limits series is now on audio book format! You can now order the lead book or any of the four devotionals at www.ShannonEthridge.com.
As our gift to you each month, we’ll be sharing one reading from each devotional in every newsletter this year. Click here to learn about The Gift that Keeps on Giving from Day 1 of Completely Blessed.
The Perfect Mother's Day Gift
Order an autographed copy of Completely His: Loving Jesus Without Limits and Shannon will personalize it to YOUR mother for just $14.99! Or order autographed copies of the entire Loving Jesus Without Limits series (Lead book & 4 devotionals) for just $49.00. Hurry—Offer expires Mother’s Day. Please allow a minimum of 2-3 days for shipping.
Mark Your Calendars - Shannon Is Coming To...
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada – May 2-3, 2008 – Girls’ Heart Point Ministry Conference at the University of Waterloo, 7-10 p.m. Friday, 9 am – 4 pm Saturday. For more information, contact Mike Mitchell at ghp@girlsheartpoint.ca.
Arlington, TX-May 8, 2008 - Shannon speaks to adult singles at High Point Church, 2500 E Arbrook Blvd Arlington, TX 76014. Contact Abel Pena at abel.pena@highpointchurch.com for more info.
Colorado Springs, CO – May 16-18, 2008 - Join Shannon and husband, Greg, for their “Taking Your Marriage Over the Top” conference at the magnificent Gleneyrie Conference Center. For more information, contact Hannah Larson at hannah.larson@navigators.com.
Big Bear, CA – May 30 – June 1, 2008 - Shannon will be speaking at a Ladies’ Retreat at Pine Summit Christian Conference Center for the Church at Rocky Peak Women’s Group. For more information visit www.rockypeak.org.
Lockhart, TX – June 14, 2008 – Completely His Women’s Event at First Assembly of God, 2715 US Hwy 183N, Lockhart, TX. Contact Sally Lujan at sally@performancecollisionrepair.com for more info.
Garden Valley, TX – July 15, 2008 – Shannon leads sessions at Teen Mania’s EXTREME Summer Camps. Contact Nate Clingman at Nathan.clingman@teenmania.org for more info.
“Land Down Under” Speaking Tour – August 1 – 15, 2008 - Shannon and family will be touring the Sydney, Melbourne, Gold Coast area on a mission to impact Australian teens and adults! If you are interested in having her speak at your church or school, please contact John & Judy Bradford at jjbradford@westnet.com.au. For a list of where & when Shannon will be speaking, click here.
Clute, TX - October 4, 2008 – Pure Passion Conference for Teens at First Baptist Church, 101 E. Brazoswood Drive., Clute, TX. Contact Joshua Pettijohn at josh_pettijohn@ltia.org for more info.
Sterling Heights, MI – October 16, 2008 – Ladies Banquet at Community Christian Church. For more info. contact terese.rea@cccsterling.org.
Saskatoon, SK– October 31 – November 1, 2008 – Women’s Journey of Faith Conference at TCU Place. For more info. contact jodi@wjof.com.
Colorado Springs, CO – January 5-6, 2009 – Shannon & Greg will be leading a “Taking Your Marriage Over the Top” one-day conference on January 5th (open to the public) followed by several sessions on January 6th for the National Conference on Youth Ministries (NCYM) for the Churches of Christ. Contact Mike Brown at mike.brown@lafayettechurch.org for more info.
Cozumel, Mexico – February 5-9, 2009 - Sail with Shannon’s family and other speakers on a Premier Christian Cruise from Mobile, AL to Cozumel, Mexico! Mark your calendars now -- More info. to come!
Lebanon, TN – February 12, 2009 – Mother/Daughter Banquet at Friendship Christian School. For more info. contact Brooke Akin at brookeakin@friendshipchristian.org.
It's A Global Thing...
We love hearing from you about what God is doing in your life as you read! Listen to these cool testimonies from all over the globe, and praise God with us…
Aaslaug from Norway writes:
“I just finished Every Woman’s Battle and it’s certainly not the last book of yours I’ll read. It’s helped open my eyes so much to what God wants me to understand about healthy sexuality! If I had the money, I’d give it to every woman I know!”
Christina from Scotland writes:
“I was walking around in the bookstore unable to find anything of interest, and my baby reached out of her stroller to grab a book. As I tried to stop her, Completely His caught my eye and I sensed the Lord wanting me to buy that book. I devoured it within a few days which is quite a feat for me! I know God guided me to it, and I wanted to say THANK YOU for your encouragement and may God continue to bless your ministry.”
If God’s doing something in your life, marriage, or ministry as a result of reading one of Shannon’s books, we’d love to hear from you no matter where you live!
How Can We Pray For You?
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We appreciate your prayers and encouraging support
for the staff and volunteers of Shannon Ethridge Ministries! |
